Let it out. Have you ever had a good cry and felt tons better after? That’s because crying is a physical outlet that allows us to move through emotion. When little kids get sad about something they have a good howl and then within minutes they are often giggling and playing again! There is evidence that widows who grieve more fully…feeling their sadness without restraint, are more likely to remarry than widows who try to maintain a stiff upper lip.
If you are feeling sad right now reading this then honour how you feel. You are feeling sad for a good reason. Sometimes we can change the situation that’s making us feel sad and sometimes we can’t. For example, if the last of your grown up kids is leaving home and you will miss them, you can’t make them stay. But by working through these feelings rather than running away from them, you will discover them easing, leaving room for more positive emotions.
Don’t belittle your feelings or let anyone belittle your feelings for you. It’s okay to seek out comfort and have a good cuddle when we are sad.
Connect. It can be crucial to feel connected to others at this time, but don’t let the hugs and ice cream become a band aid stuck on a deep wound that needs time to heal.
Spend some time alone with your sadness. Play sad songs or read sad poems, or look at photos that bring these feelings to the fore, and let the tears flow. Only when you touch the depth of your feelings will you start to push your way off the bottom to resurface a more rounded and wiser person, ready to smile and feel joy again.